Berlin based writer Lee Jean Chow presents a romantic fantasy about intimacy, love, dating.

Michael looked in the mirror studying every wrinkle and bag life had put on his face. He looked at his stomach, though he didn’t have to suck in, it was a far cry from what he’d seen on underwear boxes. Why were some angles better than others? Not knowing what was best he snapped some photos – front facing seemed the most honest and men his age would kill to look like him. He sipped his drink and opened Grindr.

Nowhere did he feel his age more than here. The screen was filled by headless torsos with an odd face pic dotted in between. ‘No bb’, so many lists, height ranges, strict age preferences, supposedly clever anecdotes and a lot of emojis shaped these guys’ personalities it was a wonder if anyone did meet Michael thought.

He doubled tapped what looked like a nice guy and wrote “Hello, my name is Michael. Your profile looks nice. I’m looking for someone to enjoy a nightcap with me at my apartment in Mitte. Let know if you’re interested”, and sent his new photo. He copied the message and sent it to everyone he liked. He sat and waited for replies, did it always take this long?

His first response read: ’I’m not an escort’, he never asked if— the phone pinged again, this one read ‘how much?’, confused he wondered if he copied something wrong because he just offered a drink nothing more. Before he could answer his phoned chimed again, Sebastian wanted to know if Michael would leave him hanging or invite him over. Immediately Michael replied, “Sure, I’m staying at Gorki Apartments, apartment 3B’. A minute later Sebastian had ordered an Uber and would be there in 15.

He stood again in the mirror interrogating his body, he pulled out his dick, gave it a squeeze remembering how it was once admired and wondered if that feeling would return.

As he dimmed the lights the room took on a moodier feel, only the chrome lamps threw light on the bed and seating area. Michael mixed a whiskey sour, Sebastian’s favourite drink for when he arrived. Finally the doorbell rang, Michael sauntered to the door and through the peep hole saw the green eyes of a familiar face.

“Open up, old man!” Sebastian protested. Once open his invitation to a hug was met by a thrusted cocktail as the better option.

“Ok old man, trying to get me drunk”, he quipped as if they were still in the office.

Sebastian took a quick tour while Michael lowered himself into the armchair flanked by his fourth (or fifth) drink and his phone now face down. Sebastian now sat leg draped over the chair arm with a slight smirk as he drinks, his gaze trained too – on Michael, then on the phone.

“So what was so pressing I couldn’t get a text back? Is old man on Tinder?”, he teased.

“Do people my age even use Tinder? I’m surprised I even got Gr—“, Michael stopped short of blowing his secret but it was enough that Sebastian’s eyes widened. Not one to keep a secret Michael’s phone chimed louder than ever: it was Grindr.

“We’ve known each other a long time, haven’t we M– I was gonna call you Mike but I know how much you hate that’ he laughed, ‘Same routine: you come in a day early, putter around, we catch up, you do the father son thing then go home’.

“I do. This old man needs routine” rebuffed Michael.

“Well this is very different, it’s almost romantic. The dimmed lights. Expecting someone?” He continued almost accusatorially, now holding his drink in front of his crotch swirling the ice around.

“Well, you, who else” Michael answered. It’s not like Grindr was gonna work out. Michael’s eyes drifted to Sebastian’s glass. He remembered the slight pulse he felt when he squeezed his dick earlier because it returned. Sebastian’s gaze remained unbroken as he watched Michael now staring directly at his crotch.

“We do this every year. You’re usually quite present but your attention seems to elsewhere, old man” this snaps Michael out of his trance. The growing hadn’t stopped. He was going commando so any erection would be obvious. They’d known each other for 20 years and he’d never been sexually aroused by him or any man that he could remember. Sebastian was 17 years his junior, fiercely independent, handsome but not intimidatingly so; it was his kind eyes, his smile with its boyish mischievousness. He spoke at his wife’s funeral, he got on well with the boys, though the meetings were short we always made them. Michael’s dick became harder at the sentiment, and Sebastian saw, like he always did right to his core.

“So was that for some Grindr boy” Sebastian asked, jokingly referring to Michael’s dick now impressively tenting both his grey sweatpants and bathrobe. His cover was blown and he was too drunk to lie convincingly.

Without a word Michael made his way to the bed dick proudly leading the way. 

“I mean, it’s a meat market. People want veal not mutton, no offence. You’re a hot dad. It’s just older guys don’t get much action unless they pay”, explained Sebastian matter-of-factly as he followed.

He laid next to Michael and propped his head up on his elbow.

“You have nothing to worry about, okay?’ Sebastian began, “you’ve been through scarier and I’ve been there. I can help you through this too,” Michael turned his head, paused, and nodded. Sebastian stood and began undressing and Michael followed. Soon Sebastian stood in just a pair of white Calvin’s looking like those underwear boxes, his dick bounced as he pulled them off. They positioned themselves side by side on the bed unflinching as their thighs pressed against one another. Without hesitation Sebastian leans over and kisses Michael, lingering for a moment before pulling back.

“Now that’s out of the way” he says relieved, “can we just go to bed?” Michael nods in agreement.

“I’m big spoon”, Sebastian was maybe a few centimetres taller so it made no difference either way. Positioned in such a way that the feeling of Sebastian’s dick on his back made his harder. Sebastian’s hand drifted down Michael’s body sending charges across his whole body as he grabbed it. The squeeze he gave it earlier didn’t compare. Slowly, he stroked as Michael rocked his hips back and forth. Pulled closer the stroking sped up, Michael felt his orgasm build as his breaths shortened.

Sebastian kissed his neck slowed down and tightened his grip in anticipation of Michael’s climax.

“I’m gonna cum” Michael gasped, feeling a rush as he bucked back. He can feel ropes of cum hitting his stomach. Behind him Sebastian groaned and a warmth coated his lower back. Before Michael could fully catch his breath, Sebastian was asleep arm still around him. In the moments before he slept he realised he kept him around for a reason, at arms length at times, perhaps subconsciously knowing this would be the outcome

‘This old man needs love too’ he thought as he gave in to sleep in this man’s arms for the first time.


Story by Boner World contributor: Lee Jean Chow