Ex-Londoner Orson Deane has something to say from his new home in Berlin. He shares his thoughts and experiences while being good and staying home.

You’re a newbie to Berlin. How long have you been here and from where?

I’m a “Londoner-cum-Brefugee” in Berlin for a year now, which has flown by. If I rewound time and told myself we’d all be locked up for Easter in 2020, I wouldn’t have believed it (at least, I wouldn’t have wanted to believe it). Berlin is such a beautiful place to get outdoors, breathe in the fresh air, hear birds tweeting, and bask in the sun; sausage in one hand, beer in the other.

You have a day job and an alternative career too. Care to share something about that?

I write and edit. Mostly short-form with long-form as a hobby. Writing can be mesmerising, therapeutic, and invigorating. But it can also be exhausting, irritating, and uncomfortable. There’s never been a time when I’ve not been writing something or thinking about writing something. Like composing a tweet, some thoughts just don’t solidify until they’re written down in front of you. Then you can mold them, bend them, like plasticine, and create something new.

Give our guys some tips on what you are doing to relieve the boredom of quarantine?

I’ve regressed. I’m trying to read more but, really, I’m jerking off a lot and fishing dildos out from the back of the cupboard. I’ve also installed The Sims 4 which has proven to be an irresponsible choice. I left video games behind a few years ago as they have a tendency to suck me in for countless hours at a time. I’ve made things worse by adding a gay sex mod, so now my sim is officially getting laid more than I am.

How are you staying fit indoors?

I sacrificed my opportunity to possess a tower of toilet paper and panic bought some dumbbells instead. Motivation is an issue. It’s easy for me to get carried away by the news, the numbers, the turmoil. The Germans would pull the cover over their heads and call it ‘Weltschmerz’. Keeping your mind healthy is as important as physical exercise. Be wary of too much screen time, go for a walk, remember to breathe.

In the the world of “only fans” are you creating more content and watching others? 

Fortunately, I’ve got a bit of a backlog, but I’ve been creating some new stuff too. In the absence of an outside world, I did actually subscribe to some other guys for a change. Shocking: accounts full of s4s posts, limited-time vids, and seconds-worth of content hidden behind astronomical inbox fees. That’s not how my page works. You’ll see every upload so far, updates each week, talented photographers, and a ton of variety. All killer no filler.

Any movie / entertainment suggestions? 

I suggest the greatest science fiction story put to screen: Farscape. It’s action-packed, heartbreaking, and hilarious. It was way ahead of its time, with dark and unnerving plot twists, stunning costume design, and a villain that’d out-maneuver Darth Vadar.

Give our readers some words of wisdom to help with their “Home Alone” days.

In conclusion I feel that this pandemic is not a productivity contest. When you’re stuck feeling anxious or lonely, that makes sense. Your focus should be your wellbeing, not your output. In other words, shelve your idea of writing a novel, getting a six-pack, or painting the house. Give yourself permission to grieve for the time being. It is a fact that the world has changed and the future is unknown. Make yourself a cup of tea and count the good things. (gt)

Follow Orson on Instagram: @orson.deane